THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I came so hard my ears popped.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
