can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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