we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
