clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No...this little piggys going to the bar
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
