Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
3pm strippers are depressing
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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