God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
