spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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