i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize