is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
