Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
