She said her name was "party"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
