You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
