WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize