he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
