am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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