dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
