physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
