She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
