She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
