If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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