your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
420 ftw
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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