so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
