so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
