Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Are my feet made of real feet?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
