just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
