if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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