we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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