Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
