new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I am naked and annoyed.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
