Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
