you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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