trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
