hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
