I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
