i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
COCAINE IS GR8
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize