couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
