Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
