WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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