Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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