I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
