shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
