This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
