i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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