You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
