White coat. Heels.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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