Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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