Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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