To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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