Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
