I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
