You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's shark week go big or go home
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
