At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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