We're like a lot better than the average bears
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize