Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
