Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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