this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
