i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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