So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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