She's JV to your varsity
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
