Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
