ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
