im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
