brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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